If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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