I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
