So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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