Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Randomize
