How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
