So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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