dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
This house was built for laser tag.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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