my sisters under your porch take her home
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
