I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
