I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Never underestimate the power of titties
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