We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize