Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
