Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
