I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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