Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We smell like vodka and hangover
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