dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
