she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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