but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
