Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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