? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
