I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
