i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
