Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
