Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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