his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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