Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
