So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
