One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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