I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
