cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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