So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
My vagina just recognized that song.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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