I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
