that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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