i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize