carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Dick very happy bro
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
