is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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