Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
