And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
