I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
