I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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