If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
bring money and cleavage
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
