So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
