Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
