Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
