chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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