I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
