have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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