words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
