Grow some girl-balls and come out already
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
