Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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