He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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