the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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