You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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