I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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