i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Just cropdusted the office
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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