he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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