Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
