ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
