There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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