New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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