We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
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