oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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