Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
