This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
